Not perfect....

I open my eyes I try to see Wat people see when they see me but I'm blinded by a white light. The light that torments me with thoughts and i cant stand to feel this  pain and i cant make it go away.I'm tired of being what people want me to be.My life  goes on as i feel like  I’m fading away
I'm sick of this and i wonder why does this happen to me?I feel like i do so much for people  why don't they show they care?
Feeling so faithless towards me don't know Wat they expect of me. I just been put in to aloot of pressure !!!Every step that i take is like another mistake i do.
 I want my feelings to become numb.
I'm so tired all i want to do is be me and less wat im expected to be.I try to scream out im not perfect but no one hears me.And to think people think im wasting my time doing things i want to do because all they do is disapprove.It is hard enough to deal with life so all i can do is hold on to the  happy times.  But i just wish people can just be proud of me.The worst thing i feel is changing because of other people told you too.If people tried to see the reall me they wouldn't want me to change i have a smile that'll brighten up a room a great personality  people envy  im full of life with goals.For today and on i'll just keep wearing my mask of lies that always smiles to hide my true feelings.I designed my mask to also be laughing behind my smiles their are tears and behind most comforts their are fears.Everything is never sometimes wat it seems wat can hide underneath you cant begin to imagine. But for today i at least found someone to erase me fears and that special person who wipe my tears.Remember this "Nobody deserves your tears but whoever deserves them will not make you cry".