Let me introduce you to Diana.Diana is a twenty three years old with a loving husband Daniel, three kids and shes a stay at home mom but little do people know being a mom is one of the hardest job. Daniel works 3am to 6pm his job keeps him busy and slightly stressed most of the time. Diana lives in a fairly nice, modern home, in a ok neighborhood. With two cars in the garage (along with a car payment), and insurance an few other responsabilities. Diana is not exactly at peace with this situation of never having enough time. To put it more bluntly, Diana sometimes daydreams about freezing time because its stressing to not even have time to sit and breath everyday she aleady knows what needs to be done the next day and so on this is leading to consequenses upon herself and her family. Let’s just say that Diana's a little stressed.
But it wasn’t always this way…
Let’s go back in time to when Diana was in middle school and ready to conquer the world. This was a time in Diana’s life that the responsabilities had not yet had a chance to pile up and the only one she had to take care of was herself. She had little stress and a lot of passion behind her dreams of having an amazing career and an even more amazing family to share it with. Diana was in a place I like to call ‘Pre-Paralysis’. A place where she had yet to become paralyzed by the pressures of day-to-day life. A time when the weight on her shoulders had barley even made itself noticeable.
When Diana met Daniel
Diana was blessed with an amazing boyfriend, Daniel. Diana met Daniel in New york on a summer vacation and fell in love faster than a person can blink. There was no doubt in their minds that they were meant for each other, each one completing the missing half of the other. Though they knew marriage was not an easy road, they had no doubt it was the necessary next step. Both Diana and Daniel loved children so talk of kids was an exciting regular conversation. Diana just knew her life was going to be even more amazing than she had imagined. The thought of taking on the challenges of life, side-by-side with the men she loved, was enough to give her goosebumps.
Before the wedding came came, Diana and Daniel frantically struggled for an apartment they both lived with their parents then with Diana's sister for a few yearrs. Diana pushed Daniel get their own place. They settled on a place that was small, but sufficient. While they were boyfriend and girlfriend their imaginations began ran wild with thoughts of what it will be like to live on their own as a couple, with no one to stop them from pursuing their passionate dreams. Diana squeezed Daniels’s hand to confirm their connection as they silently envisioned their future.
Making bad decisions, one day at a time.
One of the first things Diana did was plan a baby. They had needed to take that next step sooner or later, because Dianas parents were against their relationship. Blinded by the excitement of a baby, Diana convinced herself that this was a need. A month later,Diana seen how Daniel felt this unfamiliar pressure on his shoulders. Not knowing what it was, he disregarded it and quickly forgot about its existence. But maybe being parents so young was not the best idea..
IT’S A BOY!!!
Taking that natural next step, Diana and Daniel had a baby Boy.So excited and happier than ever, they both spread the news as if it were the cure for cancer. Daniel never thought he could feel a joy greater than what he felt when he met Diana, but holding his little blessing in his arms for the very first time sent a sensation through his body like he had never felt before. This was his son, his child. Daniel looked over at Diana and they shared a short silence, communicating a new kind of connection. They were no longer just a husband and wife, but a mother and father to this beautiful little blessing. A year after came the next blessing planned only by Diana another boy!
The Daily Grind
Let’s fast forward a few years. Daniel been working as a truck driver.Great at what he does, Daniel made a good living making vacations and buying new things for the apartment. The problem was that he had to put in many hours a week to do so and the work was exhausting with his original pre-paralysis dreams for success in another job where he can work with a better salary for truck driving and paid vacations and paid over time. When he’d come home in the evenings, Diana would be exhausted from taking care of their, now, 2 kids as well as making sure dinner was waiting for Daniel at the end of her long day. Their enthusiastic relationship had been diluted by this daily grind. Daniel was always tired and hardly had time spend with Diana and his kids.
The weekends were barely any better. Daniel sat in his most Saturday morning, writing check after check to cover all their monthly bills or Running errands for what was needed for the house or kids. when I mentioned that first sensation of shoulder weight? Well, Diana and Daniel now had a whole pile of bricks to deal with.
Somethings got to give!
Diana n Daniel talked about stress in life, because that the level of stress both were living was literally going to eating away of their insides. Daniel and Diana talked about making some changes. Both completely agreed that they made a wrong turn somewhere early on and that for their own health and happiness they needed to find their way back to sanity.
“What happened?” Daniel asked in the tone of a statement. “I mean, how did we get here in the first place?”
“All I know is that we went from white to black with so many shades of gray that we never realized the tone of our life had changed.”
Diana smiled.
That night, daniel and Diana slept better than they had in years. Both at peace with their agreement for drastic change, they felt the shoulder weight lighten, even if only for a moment.
Undoing The Damage
Daniel and Diana are now learning from experience that one positive action leads to more of the same. Each step forward strengthens their stride and reinforces their foundation.
It’s not our location, but our heading that matters most.
People often talk about where they are in life, but I find that it’s where we’re going that is most important. Time is a relentless taskmaster who never listens to reason and just because we’ve made it to a positive life doesn’t mean that tomorrow it can't fall apart. Even more importantly, for those who find themselves in a pit of despair, everything feeling like a failure, I encourage you to focus on your direction, not your current place on the map.
That’s what’s so great about life! We can make our own choices and choose to live the life of greatest fulfillment. We ALL make mistakes and have to deal with the consequences, but that doesn’t mean we can’t, AT ANY TIME, decide to make better choices for ourselves toward a more positive future. Stop focusing on the mistakes you’ve made and start planning for the future you’ve always imagined. Stop listening to the voice that says that you can’t and start chanting the battle cry for a better future. Stop reacting to life and start challenging yourself to push for greater forward progress. You can’t undo the past, but the present and the future, they are shapeless objects, waiting for your hands to mold them into the life of your choosing.
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