Stop judging Young mothers!

I am sick to my stomach of people judging me for being a young mother! People constantly stereotyping young mothers before they know the whole story!

I’m not suggesting that society should encourage teen pregnancy. When girls get pregnant but what about mature teenagers Some teens are more mature than people twice their age.

My children are my world isn't that what mother hood should be no matter what age .

Yet now, looking back, I realize how perfect that timing really was. It taught me more about myself, about life, than I ever thought I needed to know and it also made me realize that becoming a mother at any age comes with positive perks. 

Dear My forever friend...

Honestly Maria, becoming friends with you… I should have done a hell of a lot sooner. You’re by far, one of the most honest, loving, caring, trustworthy, hilarious, spontaneous, joyful, gorgeous, smartest, realist, kindest and humble people I have ever met. I’m not just saying that, I really mean it. Somehow whenever I’m upset—sure people can make me feel better—but you also make me feel sort of… calmer, I guess would be the word. If I have an overly shitty day or some douchebag decides to start something, you’re the first person I go to because you manage to make me feel better about the situation completely, you manage to calm me down and help me be more rational, instead of what other people say telling me to just brush it off my shoulder and move on or don't be dramatic or the one i hate most "Things happen for a reason" You manage to get my mind off of it completely and sincerely, helping me to cease all over-analyzing and joke around to have a laugh instead. You have given me some of the best advice I’ve ever received, I can’t even tell you how smart you are hun omg! We laugh at each other more than is humanly possible. most people don’t know how crazy we are. Hehe!So, dearest Maria I’d like to also thank you for a couple of things:

Thank you for always being closest to me even when we were in separate places and most important separate stages in life. Thank you for not letting us get split by dumb facts like distance or time. Thank you for never giving up on our friendship, for never shrugging and being like “Eh, things change, people change” and drifting away! We all get distant to a certain degree when we make huge transitions but you didn’t let me get very far because you knew what was truly important our friendship!

Thank you for doing all the things a real best friend does; for letting me trust you any issue  on the phone, text or video chat  when I need to, for refusing to let me cry or feel alone.Thank you for always knowing who I am and reminding me of that when I forget. Thank you for being genuinely concerned with the outcome of my life and always listening, even when you’re tired. Thank you for telling me things straight up sparing the bullshit advice, by instead giving me real advice that I’ve never once regretted taking. I can say our friendship is the most awsome and fun because we are miles apart but it's like we are  always together!You’re my forever friend my sister my best friend  I have ever had, and I want to thank you ultimately, for being you...

Cristian's Surviving Neurofibromatosis part 5

March 5 Cristian  went to see one of his specialist that knows more about his NF1 condition DIxiana  had a list of questions to ask him and he answered them one by one for example Dixiana asked what part of the brain was Cristian tumor in He responded  in back of Cristian eyes very tiny but he explained this tumor affects Cristian hormone levels his  hunger sleep cycles moods and blood pressure also body weight. The only concerning thing for Dixiana  was that Cristian her son will develop small tumors  on his body while he grows under or on top of his skin when specialist can't specify when or at what age  but if it bothers Cristian he can get it removed with surgery. Specialist also gave  Dixiana support groups information help her connect with other families with kids with NF1. Cristian had his blood pressure high that day and Dixiana asked why specialist explained sometimes with his  condition it may happen this all had to do with tumor in his brain. The same day Cristian got seen by the eye specialist his vision got a little worst but tumor is not affecting his vision.April 10  cristian had a MRI done weights  80 pounds and height  4'5 the results were the same tumor is still the same size hasn't changed.  April 28 Cristian seen his physiciatrist  she seen improvement  with cristian  so she is seeing him one last time in June. May 21 Cristian  seen  his specialist that gives him a physical and checks his growth and how puberty is going Cristian weighs 82 pounds n still 4'5 height by now Cristian growth the specialist says is fine Dixiana explain how she noticed mustache on Cristian and more hair on his legs and strong odor on his armpits the specialist explains that theirs another part of the body not the brain that makes hormones that it can't be stopped by his implant so he will be growing more hair while he grows also he will get more appetite she told Dixiana just to try control what he eats. This same day he had blood test done and got his spine checked  for any tumors. The Cabral family says Our journey is far from over in the world of NF, We are making this whole experience as positive as possible for Cristian even with this NF1 medical challenge. Cristian is very strong and brave and happy boy that's what makes him so special.

Cristian's Surviving Neurofibromatosis part 4

January 22,2015  Dixiana took to Cristian follow up with one of his specialist she was told he weight 78 pounds and height 4"5 he had grown  an inch and lost one pound! Dixiana's happy to say her sons hormones and growth is perfectly normal now! She was told Cristian won't have surgery for his implant until the summer the doctor said its fine for atleast 2 years but they won't wait that long to put a new one in! On January 22 cristian also had blood test and x-ray of his arm! Dixiana has to go see  Cristians other specialist in March and he may get his MRI done and his follow up with his other doctor and an eye check up to see if tumor affecting his vision! He seems to be doing so well but Dixiana's has some concerns in school wise with some behaviors of Cristian's that she will more likely help him out with follow up appt in February with Cristian's physiatrist! But Dixiana was told by his doctor Cristian  ADHD caused by NF1 and the tumor on his head mass their just taking over his brain can at times make him say things without him thinking that can lead to him being most the time impulsive! Cristian doctor said he was born with NF1 only way in any way behavior wise he will be like other kids is with help and that's why She says its important he sees a physiatrist! I cristians parent want to share 2 stories I found in the Internet of 2 kids have this condition one teenage girl expressing herself towards this condition second is parent telling her son story...

First story:I Was diagnosed with NF1 when I was about two. Before Kindergarten, I was in Special Ed for a year (I think) before going into mainstream school with extra help, speech therapy classes (which I was stubborn in). I had many, many MRIs in my life, probably a few a year, which has now waned down to one every other year or so. I'm lucky to be this healthy. I'm lucky to have the problems I have with coping. My problems are more psychological and how I look, how I talk, and how social I am. And yet still I struggle. 

 I don't need tattoos. I have spots. I love my spots. It's so different and weird. As much as NF worries me about my health, I'm not sure I'd trade it in to be “normal”. It's depressing sometimes and makes me feel like a freak when I get socially awkward, which is all the time. I'm not sure how NF will affect my future. I just know it's going to kill me someday.

Second story:In 2008, at 2 years old, our son Koda was diagnosed with NF1. He's now 4, and we are dealing with the complicated and unpredictable parts of NF. I know things could be so much worse, but who in their right minds wants their children to deal with anything that affects their health, appearance, etc?

Dixiana says 

Even after scary news Cabral family enjoys every day and happy to feel blessed that Cristian doing well our faith and hope grows everyday!  Now 7 years old, Cristian is a sweet and affectionate boy. He likes to color , sing songs and loves movies. He currently playing soccer since January 20,2015. Dixiana says I don't want people treat him in any special way but I do just ask for patience because although he may look fine act fine he is a boy with a rare condition that can strike any time an illness and even though he has gone through painful things  "also called different"he still stands looks at you full of life he is by far strongest human I know! Dixiana says I tell my son being different is like being called  limited edition  meaning  you are something people don't see often.... 

My new perspective of love...

I no longer believed in the idea of perfect relationship like I use to but I do believe in love at first sight and soulmates. But lam  beginning to believe that very few times in your life, if you are  lucky, you might meet someone who is exactly right for you. They aren't the one because he/she is perfect, or because you are but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to still fall in love with each other.We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But ive seen n have my relationship  to begin to suspect there’s no  perfect person but for some reason their is that person That is perfect in your eyes! I seen the most beautiful movie called "Fault In Our stars you can tell hazel fell in  Love not for   Augustus looks, or his clothes, or for his fancy car, but because he sang a song only she  can hear. Hazel was thankful for the little time she spent with Augustus she said" I am thankful for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within short numbered days, and I'm grateful. What makes this movie so different from the rest n his it touched my heart is that their is no happy ending but still so beautiful how their love was even if it was a short time.. They both dedicated their each day to each other n showed love to each other in few days more than ppl do in a life time... Now n days ppl forget what real romance is anyone can buy you things like jewelry candy  their is no love in that if you think about it the truely romantic things in life is those little things you do everyday to show you care and that you thinking of them. Is doing all you can to see them happy like holding their hand and sending a random I love you or I miss you text in the middle of the day the way when he/she passes by they  kiss you . It's the way they dedicate a song to you and putting on pause your  favorite movie just to hear how their day was. Truth is relationships are never easy no one tells its going to be hard the only way you can make a relationship work is if you work on it every single day and never give up on it ! Don't give up on a relationship because you feel it's just not going to get better  great relationships aren't great because they have no problems they are great because both people care enough about each other to find a way to make it work! Theirs a quote that says " Couples  who fight are stronger  than the once that don't it's not the fighting that makes them stronger its what takes place after the fighting it's the making up its coming to realization  that your relationship is more important than your differences it involves act of forgiveness and acceptance of ones mistake you fight and you learn something new about that person that's how it works real relationships aren't perfect and perfect relationships aren't real!"you can get mad at the person but still think how you can't live without them and that's the kind of love that lasts forever....

What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be.

We all have a picture in our heads of how we think our lives should go.  We plan it out perfectly in our minds, laying out what seems to us to be the ideal plan for our lives.  We set goals toward it, we take action based on it, and we kneel down at night and ask in prayer for life to go the way we want it to. Their is this song called "Let her go" by Passenger it has lyrics that  teaches an amazing life lesson. Sometimes the little opportunities that fly at us each day can have the biggest impact in our lives! Has Hans we let the important things pass us by but when we see that their gone we start to miss them even if they are little things a the end of the day we figure that those were the big things in our lives! Lyrics say Only know you've been high when you're feeling low!Only hate the road when you’re missin' home!

Only know you love her when you let her go! Sometimes we have to thank god for not granting us some of the things we pray for! We come to recognize after that life turns out far more better than it would have if God would have granted us what we think is best for us! At out hardest times our struggles we need to learn the gods plan for each of us is so much better. Gods wisdom is never giving what we want! I love the lesson the song teaches because it reminds us that We need to let the little things that would ordinarily bore us suddenly thrill us!Also when we pray for something we want at the time, and we don’t get it, we need to recognize that God is granting that prayer because He has something far better in store for us.It just takes patience and faith.  So often when we kneel to ask for something we don’t have all the facts, and we certainly don’t know the bigger picture of what could be in our lives so we are lucky to have someone wise enough to know when to say “no” or “not now” or whatever it is that we need to hear in those moments, even if it infuriates us at the time because we aren’t getting what we wanted based on our own understanding of the options that exist.  We need to realize that there must be other options out there that we aren’t aware of yet, and it’s our job to hang on patiently and wait with confidence and enjoy each of our lives every moment  because each day as a beautiful  lesson for us.We need to remind ourselves to be grateful that someone is watching out for us and making sure we will have the very best things instead of the thing we think we want. I can count so many examples in my own life when I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to have happen in my life. I would get on my knees pray my heart out for something only to get disappointed when it didn't happen inevitably every time I went through this time passed and facts came to light it became incredibly clear to me 

why things needed to end up another way that was better than what I even knew existed... 

I  have hundreds or even thousands of times I have learned lesson in my life.  Now whenever I find myself disappointed that something didn’t go the way I wanted it to, or the way I thought it should, I have to step back and tell myself that there is nothing to be sad about because whatever is coming is going to be better than anything I have yet imagined.  And it always is…better than anything I have yet imagined, and I am forever grateful for that.

In your worst days don't let the picture in your head be limited to your current understanding of things. Trust in the fact that if you are doing your very best then things will go the way they are meant to go, even if it doesn’t look the way you thought it should.  Remember that your view is limited, but God knows everything, so do your part the very best you can – then Trust Him to do His!

stuck...

Why does life gets hard at some points? It comes to a point where you think will it ever change will it get easier?It comes to a point where you sit down and think wtf happened to me? Start to say where's my faith? Where's God when I need him the most! Is he helping someone else way more important than me? Last time I checked he was the one who gave me this beautiful life! You start to think then you start to cry because you are so lost in so many emotions.. You start to believe in what other ppl told you! You start to loose faith and who you were! And you try to find yourself again so things could get better again but it takes forever because your so scared out of the experience you been though you don't want to hurt anymore or be a disappointment to your self or others! You don't want to feel broken or like your nothing! You want to be saved but you know that you need save yourself first! But your blank headed dk what to do! So you sit their crying because your so lost! Makes you think of the past and all the ppl close to you hurt you then you think how much they ment to you but in a way the never cared for you! Then at that point you want to fall n break even more! Life been a struggle for me since I was young so you just get use to the hard times act like everything's ok n remind yourself your use to it n walk around with a fake smile I'm tired pretending that everything is alright im tired of feeling lost of giving up so you try one more time this story called life but when you least expect it you fall apart and you end up saying "why did I even try!"