My good friend...

I was sitting here thinking of the perfect words to say but i have so much to say i dont know where to start so im going to try this a different way im typing this for you, to show you how much i need you and what you mean to me , but there's no way to thank you for everything you've done and shown me..Our bond is extremely special, Its a unique in its own way we have something irreplaceable.I love you more each day because we have been through so much together in so little time we shared. I will never forget all the moments that you've shown me how much you cared.I love you fun-filled personality somehow you never fail to impress. I have never met someone like you. You see the world different special even if things are bad in your life you see the positive in things and people even if there the worst to you.You enjoy life to the fullest even if your life falling apart and even then you stand strong hold tears like theirs nothing wrong.You make time for every friend you have and plan fun things with each all i can say your amazing.The world could use more people like you it would certainly be a better place.You are someone i could never replace life is a journey without you my life would be tough.Everything you mean to me my words will never end but the way u changed my life i could never thank you enough.You make me happy,You fill my world with hope,You've changed my life in ways you'll never know.
You make my world better just being in it.Before i met you i can say i was down thought i had no real friends they all came in and out of my life i cared less of dressing up to me it was like whatever fits its fine planning things never though about was in the same routine i can say i was bored of life lived to make my family happy but myself i was in this dark hole i just never realized it till you came in my life.I changed in good way i think I think I'm finding inner happiness not judging my self but loving my self loving life and making people who i love smile and enjoy it with me dress to impress the husband i love and feel beautiful for myself enjoy out doors change routine plan something new and learn not to let people walk all over me and if i didn't have a friend like you i wouldn't learn these things.Your like a star i don't always see you but i know you'll always b there.My dearest friend, you brought tears to my eyes…because you touched my life and didn't let go you didn't give up on me you made me feel like a new person ready to take on the world! i am so thankful that today i found a true friend like you.It is such a wonder how when it comes to us, we treat each other differently, I have never managed to treat other friends the way I treat you!  we should not be harsh on people nor judgmental, but I am ashamed to say I have not achieved this with some other people, and I'm  proud to say I can never judge you, . isn’t it a wonder? knowing there is someone in this world I feel this way about lets me realize I have been given a gift millions  and who some have never dreamed of obtaining… it can be called Trust in a friend.You have a special way of making me feel more valuable than i believe iam.
As if you truly understand when something is on my mind or weights heavy on my heart you can see the truth and pain in me when I'm fooling everyone else. You have walked in when the world walked out my life.when i need to talk you sort through my emotions clarify my thoughts you listen to me and give me ed vise i nor longer feel destroyed.I'm very lucky to have you in my life for that every day i thank god.Ill always look up to you because you are strong and caring and beautiful. I hope you know that I will always be there to listen to you, laugh with you, cry with you and help you in all the ways I possibly can i will always encourage you when u hesitate. Through tears and smiles, laughter and heartache, you've been a part of my life. I can't imagine getting through a single day without texting you lol.  Your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated and you always put others first. I hope you know you have impacted so many peoples lives and I would not be the person I am today without you. In times of trouble and in times of thanks you stood by my side and held me up. You supported me when I was in tears and even when I was happy. I’ve never needed anyone so much in my whole entire life as much as I need you . You mean so much to me and you are a very caring and thoughtful person.Our story will continue to grow with each passing day because i trust you ll be by my side and everything will be OK.You will always be dear to me and u know i will love you till the end Tatty!

How can you live happy?...

Their are many ways you  live a better and Happy life.Its a process is about learning to love and  value yourself enough to stop destroying yourself.Its about forgiving yourself and others.Its about letting go of shame and accepting your true self.Letting go of perfection and learn to use anger as a fuel to create something good rather then holding it inside until you self destruct or strike out at another.Its knowing we all have a choice we can choose to be hopeful rather than hopeless or choose to act from faith not fear and you can choose to enjoy life rather than live it in fear n be miserable!Only you know WATS best for you! You cannot listen to what others want you to do you must listen to yourself.Family,friends, do not know what you must do and you know and only you can do what is right for you.So start now you ll overcome many obstacles go against the judgement of many people and let them not get to you.But you can have whatever you want if you try hard enough.So try now and you will live a life designed by you and for you and you will love your life.people be thankful for the life you have because others are fighting to survive.Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.If you did what would their be to look forward to?Be thankful when you don't know something for it gives you the opportunity to learn.Be glad for the difficult times because they help you grow.Be thankful for each new challenge because it builds your strength and character.Be thankful for your mistakes it teaches you valuable lessons.Be thank full for limitations because it makes us improve your life.Be thankful when your tired because it means you've made an effort.A life of rich fulfillment's comes to those who try to make the best of their life and want to be happy and change a negative to a positive. Always find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they may become your blessings.Hope this can open peoples hearts and eyes towards their choice to live!



 

 

Life lessons...

I sit and think why is it that the persons you love most are always the first ones to hurt you?Its sad but true!But every thing happening in any ones life theirs always a lesson to be learned.Today i start a new life because i haven't seen life any clearer then today knowing Wat i want and Wat god has planned for me.I say''MAKE EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE A MOMENT TO REMEMBER"
Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and waist no time complaining or thinking things should b different.Love life and get all you can get out of it refuse to worry live now not in the past or the feature.Learn to laugh and make others laugh accept yourself without complaints.appreciate the world love to go out doors.Do not be afraid to fail in fact welcome it.Accept other has they are and work on changing things you dislike view people has humans place no one above  yourself . Don't chase after happiness be happy."LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME''we cannot change the past we just need to keep good memories and learn from mistakes we've made we cant predict our feature we can just pray for the best.But we can enjoy the present and seek to become a more loving person.Also don't expect more from yourself than you do for others change your anger and frustration with hope and determination."LITTLE THINGS"Too often we don't realize what we have until its gone! Too often we wait too late to say I'm sorry i was wrong.Sometimes it seems we hurt or get hurt by the ones we hold dearest to our hearts and we allow foolish things to tear our life's apart.Far too many times we let unimportant things into our minds and then its usually too late to see that made us blind.So be sure that you let people know everyday how much they mean to you appreciate everything you've got be thankful for the little things in life."SOMETIMES IS BEST TO LET THINGS GO AND START AGAIN"Things happen in our lives that we find it hard to accept.Thoughts come back and trouble us and time again.Things happen in our lives that we do find difficult to accept we must then decide if we can change things.If their is we must do it make things right again.But when we do all we can and when we know their isn't more we can do about it we must let it go! Whatever troubles us. After going over what ifs and whys we may learn a lesson even if its painful we go through the experience learning to let things go.we cant live life worrying about Wat might have been might actually be worth even more that whatever u let go of."IT'S OK"Its ok to be afraid of things you don't understand to feel anxious when things aren't going our way.Its normal to feel alone even if your in a room of people.Its ok to feel unfulfilled because you know something is missing even if you re not sure Wat it may be.Its ok to think, worry,cry because eventually your going to adjust to the changes life brings your way.Its ok to get to the point where the life you live is full and satisfying and good to you and it ll be that way cause you made it that way!"WITHIN YOU IS THE STRENGTH TO MEET LIFE'S CHALLENGES" You are stronger then you think remember that.Every challenge in your life helps you grow.Every problem you have strengthens your mind and soul.Every trouble you overcome increases your understanding of life.When all your troubles weight heavily on you remember to stand tall because you are never given more than you can handle.I wanted to give inspiration to all who go through tough times and feel so lost or that no one understands them we all go through it but only some see the light i hope this can help!

 

 

Nunca dejen de sonar...

Yo pienso que puede alguien quitarte el sueno pero nunca podran quitar las ganas de  seguir sonando!
En muchos momentos de la vida, pareciera que nada tuviese sentido y que sin importar lo mucho que intentemos hacer bien las cosas todo sale mal. Cuando era pequena queria ser una maestra luego una modelo y ahora lo mas que me gusta es escribir y bailar.Hoy tengo dos hijos y se que modelar ya no puedo por que para ami es mas importante estar serca de mis hijos pero tengo ganas de luchar y ser una escritora y bailarina.como dije las cosas no son faciles pero como puede uno saber si puede ser lo que suena uno si no trata?Yo pienso si alquien tiene un gran sueno lo puede consequir con tal que tenga esa ilusion y esperanza.Yo sueno pienso me imaguino bailando en esas peliculas de baile la mujer siendo yo me late el corazon de alegria de pensar que pueda ser yo esa un dia y ser una famosa escritora y que me paguen por escribir y que la guente le encante lo que escribo.Como la guente sea kuien sea puede criticar y quitarte el deresho de sequir tu sueno no se den por vensidos la vida es my bonita y corta para que vivas tu vida confundida en los pensamientos de otra guente.Como ven apollo es lo que uno busca y aveses uno no lo tiene pero eso es la vida.Uno no puede esperar que las cosas vengan a nosotros tenemos que lushar por ellas con toda tu fuerza buscar aquello que nos hace feliz.Yo por ahora sueno pero ya mas adelante voy a luchar con todas mis fuerzas haver lo que amo. Nunca abandonen sus suenos mientras crean que puedes lograr sus metas inténtenlo una y otra vez, que nadie los detenga, cierren sus manos y agarraen todos esos sueños y no lo suelten, ponganlo en su pecho como si fuese una joya valiosa, y guárdenla en sú corazón, porque sus sueños sí son valiosos. nunca sientan que han perdido por que algo no salio bien la primera vez, siempre hay que volver a intentarlo, se puede ser muy inteligente pero si no tienen pasiensia para hacer las cosas, nunca lo van a lograr.Comienza cada dia como si fuese el primero del resto de tu vida con esperaanza,alegria,para que asi te puedas sentir contentos por que estan haciendo lo mejor posible.No dejen que nadie robe esa alegria que llevan dentro  tienen el deresho de tener muchas ilusiones y muchos suenos no los desperdicies en guente que no vale la pena.Es mejor mirar los dias que llegan como una oportunidad nueva.Siéntanse feliz con quien son, tienen la capacidad de aprender de sus errores, no dejen que los malos sentimientos como el orgullo empañen tu bello corazón. Tampoco te pongas triste por aquellos que no quieren que te sientas bien, no valen la pena, una persona que te ama de verdad, te acompañará a soñar y volará contigo tan alto como puedas, no te soltará y allí sabrás cual es tu verdadero amor, será aquel que te apoya en tus planes y en tus deseos. Cuida a esa persona, lo demás no le de mente.Alejate de la guente que no te apollan por que si tu lo dejas sabes que te pueden quitar todo menos las ganas de sonar y siempre mi guente ai un manana mejor para ustedes.
Agan de sus vidas un sueno y de ese sueno mi guente una rialidad!Nunca dejen de sonar ni de ser tu mismo por los demas.Sonar es gratis recuerden eso :)

Frases que te dejan con el persamiento...

-Puede la alegria de los demas contagiar a otros
-Hay que tener un buen presente para en el futuro tener  un bonito pasado
-Decir la verdad puede ser cualquiera pero para mentir hay que tener imaguinacion
-Te amo no solo por lo que eres si no por lo que soy cuando estoy contigo
-Creer en el destino es tener miedo a cambiar el futuro
-Dishoso aquel que puede dar sin recordar y recibir sin olvidar
-Si no puedes convenserlos confundelos
-Se necesita un minuto para que te figues en el una hora para que te agrade un dia para quererlo pero se nesesita una vida para poder olvidarlo :(
-Puedes que pienses que no eres nada paro el mundo pero seguro que eres un mundo para alquien
-No mas sabio aquel que sabe munchas cosas si no aquel que hace  muncho con lo poco que sabe
-Di siempre lo que piensas y piensa antes de decir
-Rie cuando estes triste por que llorar es demaciado facil
- Si estas triste sonrie por que mas vale una sonrisa triste que la tristeza de no verte sonreir :(
-No pienses que te amo por que enrialidad te amo mas de lo  que piensas
-Los errores no se niegan se asumen los pecados no se juzgan se perdonan la tristeza no se llora se supera y el amor no se grita se demuestra
-Te amo por encima de todo no podemos ver por encima de lo que tenemos que conocer
Estas son algunas de mis frases favoritas que me dejan pensando que les alla gustado igual que ami :)

Consejos para todos...

- Verdad- di la verdad a otros y ati mismo ya que es bueno para una salud mental
- Metas- es bueno tener ilusiones y metas positivas ya que ayuda a que la mente este sanamente ocupada.
-Perdon- el perdon libera de sentimientos negativos trae paz al corazon y genera a ti alegria perdonar te trae a triunfar  sobre tus propias debilidades.
-Servicio- servir y ayudar alos demas me ensena que da muncha felizidad uno puede dar lo que tenga tiempo,dinero,compania,es mas feliz el que mas da como dice el disho 'El que no vive para servir no sirve para vivir".
-Escuchar- escucha pero realmente eschucha sin interumpir, botezar o criticar.
-Carino- ser generoso con besos, abrazos,apretones de manos hacer estas pequenas acsiones demuestran muncho.
-Paciencia- ai que  ser paciente no pretendas que todo te llegue de imediato.
-Olvidar- no seas esclavo del pasado y los recuerdos tristez  no revuelvas una herida que esta cicatrizada no recuerdes dolores y sufrimientos antiguos como dice Daddy yankee "lo que paso paso"
-Hacia delante- camina hacia delante no mires atras haz como el sol que sale cada dia sin acordase de la noche anterior.
-No culpes otros- no culpes por lo que tu has echo mas bien cambia por que solo tu ers responsable por tu propia vida.
-Vida- piensa que dios te ah dado una vida por que el sabe que puedes con ella.
-Alegria- se alegre por que la alegria contagia i vive para quitar tristezas de todos los que te rodean la alegria es un rayo de luz que debe de pertenecer siempre encendida.
Ohala esto pueda ayudar algunas personas a reflexionar a cambiar su vida :)

The girl in the mirror....

Theres this girl in the mirror i look and wonder who she is. I wonder do i know her? There is a untold story in her eyes, when she is looking back at me i can see wat she feels inside. Its colder now and some type of sadness consumes me, never underestimate the pain of a person the truth is everyone feels it some how yet some people hide it better then others many choose to show some emotions not all.The girl in the mirror smiles and yet  theirs tears left un dried and she has so much to say she keeps it bottled up inside. Theres nothing more depressing than having it all and still feel sad. She says im tired of being nice to people who can careless about me. she thought who would care if one day i wasn't there.she go on day by day and act like everything is OK but has life goes on it hurts more in ever way she said.she cant hide no matter how hard she tries all her friends know why she cant sleep at night.she wants to scream to people only because my eyes dont tear dont mean my heart dont cry and just because i act strong dont mean nothings wrong.If you look past this words you'll know the girl in the mirror is really me! Heres a qoute to understand me!
"Do you know wats like to be me?Go through something not everyone can see?
Do you know Wat's it like to walk in my shoes?Please stop judging me simply cause im not you!

Not perfect....

I open my eyes I try to see Wat people see when they see me but I'm blinded by a white light. The light that torments me with thoughts and i cant stand to feel this  pain and i cant make it go away.I'm tired of being what people want me to be.My life  goes on as i feel like  I’m fading away
I'm sick of this and i wonder why does this happen to me?I feel like i do so much for people  why don't they show they care?
Feeling so faithless towards me don't know Wat they expect of me. I just been put in to aloot of pressure !!!Every step that i take is like another mistake i do.
 I want my feelings to become numb.
I'm so tired all i want to do is be me and less wat im expected to be.I try to scream out im not perfect but no one hears me.And to think people think im wasting my time doing things i want to do because all they do is disapprove.It is hard enough to deal with life so all i can do is hold on to the  happy times.  But i just wish people can just be proud of me.The worst thing i feel is changing because of other people told you too.If people tried to see the reall me they wouldn't want me to change i have a smile that'll brighten up a room a great personality  people envy  im full of life with goals.For today and on i'll just keep wearing my mask of lies that always smiles to hide my true feelings.I designed my mask to also be laughing behind my smiles their are tears and behind most comforts their are fears.Everything is never sometimes wat it seems wat can hide underneath you cant begin to imagine. But for today i at least found someone to erase me fears and that special person who wipe my tears.Remember this "Nobody deserves your tears but whoever deserves them will not make you cry".

Living in Fear!

I lay on my bed thinking and i soak my pillow in tears I wanna know exactly Wat do i fear?Is it the mistakes that i made or the fact that i cant bring back the past.I think how no matter wat situation i go through life still goes on and on and years go by while time fades away how tomorrow comes and the again it goes.what is it that I'm afraid? of feelings inside me that wont let me be happy at times  an empty spot i want to fill just don't know how.Is it every day routine or people who continue to hurt me i realize now nothing is fair my thoughts have only gotten more complicated.What are me eyes so scared? maybe the hope that i have that always seems to die in me trying to get over this endless fear.Memories maybe that haunt me can it be that the thing i fear most is the thing i cant be? The person everyone expects me to be so strong and yet so sensitive and weak yet my ambition to become something more  grows and grows around the corner yet  seems like miles away.I think the thing i fear the most its me....

No heart beat...

I never new how it felt to loose something you wanted so bad life always gives new lessons and well i was never prepared to wat i went threw few weeks ago on april 2012.I cant imagine how people can feel loveing a person one minute and looseing them the next after so many memories although my story were only for 9 weeks i loved this baby oh so much from the very start if love could have saved my baby it would have never died . I had a miscarriage although it wasnt like most and cant be explained The causes of miscarriage are not well understood. Most of the miscarriages that occur in the first trimester are caused by chromosomal abnormalitiesin the fertilized egg. Most often, this means that the egg or sperm had the wrong number of chromosomes and as a result, the fertilized egg can't develop normally.

Sometimes a miscarriage is caused by problems that occur during the delicate process of early development. This would include an egg that doesn't implant properly in the uterus or an embryo with structural defects that prevent it from developing so the doctors say it can be millions of reasons if you come to think about it was it stress, was i eating enough ect....but in da end all i can think of was why me.I decided to write my story has a comfort to other women who went through the same pain has me.
I got pregnant in march and i found out by the end of that month it was 5 years since i have had another baby yes i have 2 adorable kids 2 boys.But knowing i was pregnant after so long brought me so much joy i teared when i seen that test posetive.Every day i wake up knowing i had a life inside me and another child to care for. In da start everything was going good although i always stress thinking that theirs something wrong with my baby just cause i had not heard its heart beat yet or seen a doctor so one day i was haveing cramps decided to go to the e.r and they told me no worries everything is fine. A week later i was pukeing aloot none stop that week i lost a few pounds couldnt even keep down liquids i went again to the e.r the put me on a i.v i was dyhydrated and they prescribed me pills for no pukeing it helped some days other days i would be the same weeks past i felt like i couldnt do anything i did things so slow i felt like the world was falling on top of me and these cramps but the hospital would always say it was normal. I changed doctor and i didnt make an appt till i was 9 weeks the doctor i changed to was  very buzy when i finally had my appt with him i was nervous also because i had this weird spotting but though nothing of it if i had 2 healthy boys.The doctor called me in and was doing an ultrsound on me and i seen my baby and i seen him searching and searching and he tells me somethings wrong when i heard those words i new then wat hed say next was bad my heart raced i could feel it almost tryna get out of my chest and i teared but when he told me no heart beat i asked wat do you mean he says your baby died. That day i came out of my house happy wanteing to hear and see my baby thinking it was healthy but the news i got was not even close it had stop growing and their was no heart beat. Although iam and still trying to deal with it im devastated how this happened to me i went the next day to do another ultrasound and still nothing that weekend i had a dnc done but i still sit on my bathroom tub and cry for that lost baby i wish i had it in my belly its sad to not knoe when someoone u love is leaving and you couldnt say goodbye like my baby it was gone before i knew it in life i love it dearly in death ill love it still
my heart is broken but it was gods choice.For all the women who can relate to this story im sorry
  my condolences to you please read this poem it may help you like it did to me.                                     I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother,
And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother,
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied,
With confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not thier choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But theres no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish that I could show you,
What your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile,
With other children who say:
We go to earth and learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much,
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are Ok.
Your babies are here in My home,
They'll be at heavens gate for you.
So now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,
until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day,
And you'll know that you're the best one!
R.I.P my dear angel....